The Angle of the Dangle

I really wish I could have been there when they were pitching the idea for the Snuggie to potential investors. The thought that a person described a blanket with sleeves that is open in the back followed by people going, “We’re sold!,” blows my mind. But maybe there was more to it than that. Maybe, (because I am a thinking person who believes in the power of humanity and everything that is good), there were people who were there who raised their hands and said, “Uuuummm…that’s just a backwards robe, right? Those things have been around since dirt.” Which was followed by a number of other people nodding in agreement. Then, the person pitching curls his curly mustache and talks about how they will create all of these problems that people have while trying to stay under a blanket to make it useful. Things like: being able to hold the remote (no), going to sports events (not an issue), or playing fuseball (what?). As soon as people see the commercial a gazillion times, they start to go, ‘Yeah, maybe I do wish that I could stay under a blanket AND eat my loaded baked potato pringles.’ Thus, the need for the Snuggie was born.

This, to me, is the most effective way to describe what is happening across the country with the Tea Party and the mid-term elections. Here in Nevada, we have the popular race between incumbent Harry Reid and the walking, talking Shel Silverstein-esque Sharron Angle. (Strike that last comment, it’s not fair to Shel. He’s one of my favorite authors.) Currently, between the two, there is an exchange of words about who is “more extreme.” Harry was the first to fire, saying Sharron’s views on things like Medicare, Social Security and jobs are too extreme. Then, Sharron came back by saying that Nevada’s record unemployment and foreclosures happened under Harry’s watch, so he is extreme. Hypothetically, if those were is fault, I am not sure how he is extreme, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt.

The point I am trying to get at is for Reid…THE WOMAN IS BAT SHIT CRAZY! Stop pointing out to people that her views are beyond rational thought. Everyone who agrees with you is already aware of that and anyone who disagrees with you probably has dementia. Here’s a rhetorical question; How do you convince someone of something who will disagree with you no matter what? The Republicans are well aware of this phenomenon. The realized shortly after the beginning of this administration that they were not bringing anything to the table, so they threw in the towel and gave the steering wheel to the Tea Party who was sitting in the back seat and said, “You drive.” There is no context to anything that they say. Why not bank on that? Talk about the money that your state is getting for infrastructure. Talk about how a ton of teachers just got hired because of the money the state got for education. Something. Remind people of why you’re in office and what it is you do for the state. We need you to be the one who stands up and tells everyone, “A SNUGGIE IS A BACKWARDS ROBE!”