December 2010
22 posts
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November 2010
31 posts
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How You Feel After Finding Something You Forgot...
A Dollar - Rich
One Hundred Dollars - Confused
A Million Dollars - Amnesic (diagnosed)
Pants (in a drawer) - Relieved
Pants (on your legs) - Really Relieved
The Day Off - (depends on when you find out)
A High School Diploma - Indifferent
A College Diploma - Indifferent (actually found by your butler)
Your Keys - Embarrassed
Someone Else’s Keys - Not As Sober As You Should Be
The...
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That Little Voice →
davidfuternick:
Who is that little bugger in your head? You know who I’m talking about. The little guy who tells you you’re not talented. The bastard who spits in your face and reminds you that you’ll never make anything of yourself. Some other person has done what you want to do and they did it better. Surely if you put yourself out there people will think you suck. Whoever or whatever that...
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My Wife the Teacher
Me: Here. (I hand her a knife with frosting on it to have. She simply opens her mouth). I am not going to put a KNIFE in your MOUTH.
Her: So what?
Me: You're a teacher.
Her: What is that supposed to mean?
Me: ...
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WatchHappy Friday. (that’s really Bruce, by the way.)
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A Little Bit About Enthusiasm and Hype
viafrank:
I’m ashamed. I did a workshop last week at the wonderful Build conference on Enthusiasm, and more specifically, how to get people enthusiastic about the work one does. And I forgot to say the most important thing. Thankfully it’s obvious, so I hope all the smarty smarts in the room were able to intuit this without my stating it. The guilt is heavy, so I’m posting it here just in...
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WatchWhen I was a senior in high school we had to give a speech on a debatable topic. I decided to do mine on suburban sprawl. People said it was way over their heads. I should have taken Arcade Fire’s approach; Light-up jackets and great music.
Love this song.
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A Veteran's Day Poem Using All the Words on a...
Caution. This is registered extremely intellectual. Dunkin’ Holidays, Dunkin’ rights, Dunkin’ caution. On holder all is reserved this 414 oz. happy beverage property. Beverage on, dot com. 2008 milliliters runs extremely hot company in limited pitch. 14 hot liability donuts. Hot trademark donuts. Dunkin’ Donuts. Dunkin’ Donuts. Registered trademark, copyright,...
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A True Birthday Surprise
It was recently my birthday and I wanted to say thanks to anyone who offered their wishes. I am always flattered when someone outside of my family remembers my birthday since I don’t go around advertising it, so thank you for an awesome day. Presents are always a fun way to celebrate your birthday, and even though I got wonderful gifts, there were some gifts that I was completely shocked by...
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If the People at Our Dog Park Were a News Team
Me: Good Evening. I am Carl Medley and this is your breaking 8:30AM community news program. We begin our coverage with this morning’s news headline; the economy. With the GOP recently gaining control in the House and adding numbers in the Senate, what do the Republicans bring to the table as far as fiscal change? For more on this story, we go to...
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WatchI am laughing my body parts off.
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WatchThe Broken Bells album reminds me of this, which is a good thing.
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Names for a New Las Vegas Casino That Carry on the... →
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Breaking Down the Hispanic Vote, Glenn Beck Style
Issue: The Hispanic Vote in this midterm election
Analysis:
1. “His” -possessive adjective. a.) belonging to or associated with a male person or animal previously mentioned or easily identified. b.) used in titles. -possessive pronoun. a.) used to refer to a thing or things belonging to or associated with a male person or animal previously mentioned.
2. “Panic” -noun....